There is something deep within that is proud of my husband every day when he leaves for work. Proud to know he is serving our community and is making a difference. It’s also scary. Few understand what it feels like to worry every day your spouse is at work if they will return, but nonetheless I’m proud to be his wife and his support.
Many talk about the stress of being a police officer, but what about us? What about those of us who stand by our police officer husbands?Don’t get me wrong, being a police officer comes with lots of stress (along with other emotions), but it's just as hard (if not harder) on us at home, the women behind the badge.
Our stress matters too and impacts our ability to serve our family. Their stress, in many ways, becomes our stress. The stress and emotions that come with their job impacts us and our health.
I've been a police officer's wife for 15 years. I understand the:
Long hours of worry
-Unanswered phone calls
-Unpredictability of shift hours
-Lack of time off with mandated overtime, court hearings, and trainings
-Always being “on duty” - even when they aren’t
-Missed birthdays and holidays
-Uncertainty of their return home
-Unrelenting stigma and hatred around the profession they chose
-Sleepless nights
-Being a “married single parent”
-Taking over most caregiver/home responsibilities
-Fear of family’s safety
-Soothing the children’s fears
-Playing “therapist” after their shift
-Being the comforter of emotions for the whole family
All of these responsibilities add up like weights.They accumulate and weigh us down physically, mentally, and emotionally. In the early years, it didn’t seem as difficult, but what I didn’t realize is that the weight of it all didn’t feel as heavy. Adding children, seeing the loss, and being part of this community for so long has opened my eyes to the cumulative effects these responsibilities have on us wives.
We know it's difficult, that's why we have to and together for support.
You must take control of what you can, and focus on learning how to manage your stress because your family needs you present and healthy, you are the rock. The stress and worry each day takes a toll on your ability to do your role as a police wife.
Allowing it to continue could lead to personal and professional burnout, along with a downward spiral of your health, leading to more diagnoses and despair.
Burnout is real. You can learn more about burnout from my blog, “You’re Running Out of Time! Here’s How to Avoid Burnout!”
Another great way to help fight stress is to improve our body’s natural defenses. If we aren’t feeling well, we aren’t able to fight and manage the stress we face day in and day out. You can find some of my favorite ways to boost your natural defenses here.
Oftentimes, practitioners provide general tips for managing stress to avoid burnout. A police wife, however, needs more than just a list of general tips. You need solutions that meet your unique needs and the specific stresses that affect you and your family.
Here are 7 ways you can reduce your stress and worry as a police wife.
1. Talk to your spouse. Make communication a priority
Talk with your husband and ask for him to communicate with you about when he is finished with work and on his way home, or if there is something that has come up or a change in a normal routine. Having these communication plans will help reduce your stress and worry.
2. Improve your sleep habits.
Sleep is a core pillar of health. If you aren’t sleeping at night, we have to address that right away. You can find some great tips to improve your sleep routine in one of my latest blogs!
3. Build a village
You can’t do it alone. You need to surround yourself with others who understand your stress. Finding other police wives who you can talk to and lean on will help you not feel alone. Local meet up groups are great, but I’ve found another great support system online through private police wives groups on social media.
4. Use essential oils for stress
Essential oils can be used to help calm you down and may relieve stress. Lavender is a common oil used for these purposes, but there are so many more. Diffusing in the air throughout the day and night using machines or even your earrings, necklaces, and bracelets do an amazing job to decrease unhelpful emotions. Consider applying them to the skin as a perfume substitute. Even ingesting can be a very supportive method. Here is one of my favorite diffusers that my family and I use regularly.
5. Make self-care a priority.
Self-care is a vital part of stress management, especially for a police wife. Some of my favorite self-care recommendations include:
6. Have an emergency plan in place with your spouse.
It’s difficult not knowing where he is or what’s happening when you know he should have been off shift an hour ago. Emergencies happen, especially in this field. Make a plan. Talk to your spouse and have a plan in place of how he will let you know he is staying late on the job without him having to leave a call. Maybe create a code word or something.
7. Get outside daily and move
Getting outside early in the day and into the sunlight has multiple health benefits, and so does exercise. Going for a walk, doing some yoga in the backyard, or going for a light jog is a great tool to improve your overall health. This is also beneficial for balancing your circadian rhythm which will improve your sleep patterns, a vital part of true health.
There are some things we can't control and we have to learn to manage what we can. Your health matters. My health was being affected by the stress of my husband’s job. It took me years to decide to take back control so I could be the best mom to my sons and the most supportive wife to my husband. It’s time for you to do it too!
Stress is a silent killer. It's time to take control before it's too late.
Did you know that stress is one of the three pillars of disease? I address this, along with the other two - nutrient poor food and toxins, with every client I work with to eliminate symptoms and build longevity. Ignoring the stress and the weight of being a police officer’s wife could be deadly, it’s time to make some changes.
Let's chat to discuss how you can take control of your stress. Being a police wife is something to be proud of, but it also is a life not many understand. Let's join forces so you can be strong for your man behind that badge. Click below to schedule your FREE Curiosity Call now.
